|The pathetic boy next door
||[Apr. 17th, 2004|01:52 pm]
Last night me and Shadoe and Turbo Dan went to go and see "Kill Bill part Deux", but by the time we got there the show was already sold out. The next one wasn't for like another two hours, so we ended up going to see "The Girl Next Door" instead.
I think the movie can be summed up in one phrase: "My pants are tight! My pants are tight!" Man, I'd like to borrow a pirate ship and plunder the booty of Cuthbert Island, if you know what I'm saying.
So there's this one scene the movie where Elisha Cuthbert's character (a superhot former porn star) takes her new high school loser dork boyfriend to this kegger party. Once they get there, all the jocks immediately go into action to separate the hot chick from the nerd, and then to threaten and bully him into leaving the party without her. Aside from the parts that involved a hot chick, I could relate, as I've been there a thousand times.
But instead of leaving, the nerd walks right back up to his megahot date, steps between her and the jock trying to pick her up, and just kisses her. Kisses her hard and wet and good. Without a word, the jock just kind of looks at them and then walks away, defeated.
The moment spoke to me. I so wanted to do that with Shadoe right there and then.
It's like, Shadoe is sitting there between me and Turbo Dan. Again. Like always. We're like the two dudes and the chick from that show, who are always together, and there's the obvious sexual tension, but nothing ever happens. *I* know she came to the party with me, but every jock in the place still thinks he has a chance because I'm too shy to "mark my territory" or whatever.
I wanted to make that bold, romantic, movie star gesture that says "I don't care what the jocks say, I'm not leaving this party, because you mean more to me than anything else, Shadoe."
From that point on, I don't remember much of the movie, because my brain was locked in an intense and furious struggle with itself. Should I do it? Should I just lean over there and kiss her? Is this the time? The moment? Will she kiss me back like Elisha Cuthbert kissed her nerd, or will she just think I'm an idiot?
Before I could come to a decision I had worked myself up so much that I was sweating profusely. I could feel the beads raising on my forehead and under my armpits. My heart was beating so hard I could feel the blood running through my ears, and I was starting to get short of breath. I must have looked like I was on crack or something. I knew this was not to be my night.
So after the movie I just quietly went home, alone, again... with nothing but Maxim jpgs of Elisha Cuthbert for comfort...